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AT&T is Evil: A Rant
For those of you who unsuccessfully tried to tap into the big wedding page in the last few weeks, we're sorry for the confusion. Our ISP, AT&T, decided to murder the username AGNIEL (our hero's primary mode of electronic existence), leaving us with no web hosting service and no e-mail. Of course, they waited until we mailed all our save-the-date letters to you with the big wedding page address.
That you found us here in this free, yet far more reliable, domain, is a true testament to your e-sourcefulness.
Would you like to know why AT&T took away AGNIEL? Because we moved. Apparently, only people who live in our old apartment complex can be called AGNIEL. Lucky for us all, it was also Jim's last name!
We know what you're thinking...some computer glitch obviously gummed up the works and mistakenly closed the AGNIEL account. No problem, you're saying to yourself, just have the merry band of idiots at the home office flip the correct switch to get us all back in the ballgame. Ahh, but if it were only so simple, says AT&T. Apparently, the fools running the program at Dallas' onliest broadband ISP are slave to some incredible, master race of computer-beings who defy all human intervention. This explains why there is no way on earth a human employee of the company could possibly entertain the thought of fixing our little problem. Of course, "help" would be tantamount to revolt--obviously the evil computer master race would not stand for the insolence, evaporating any rogue helpful customer service representative with its horrible ISP-ray. Who can blame them?
This all must seem like some kind of bizarre, fluke event, never to be experienced by us or anyone else again. Let us tell you: it has happened to us before, and it will happen to you! See for yourself: See what happened the last time Jim moved. See what these other 118 people have to say about AT&T Broadband Internet and its customer service...it stinks! Will it ever get better? Probably not.
We're glad you axed. Cut up that AT&T Universal Card (we cut ours up this afternoon!). Cancel your AT&T Cable (we're getting Dish Network!). Throw your AT&T Wireless mobile phone into the toilet (preferably with customer service on the other end). Change your AT&T long distance to something--anything--else. Sell your AT&T stock. Don't own any? Sell short! AT&T's crappy service will make you a millionaire.
But please, whatever you do, for the love of everything holy, don't sign up for AT&T Broadband Internet.
You will become addicted to the high speed downloads, and you will not be able to leave when they beat you black and blue like they did to us. Like some pathetic broadband junkie, you will keep coming back for more, thanking them each time you're on hold for 30, 60, even 90 minutes: "No, no, go help someone else first!" you'll exclaim when they finally pick up, your hand shooting terrific pain to the rest of your body. "It's our honor to be your customer!"
You will smile through your tears when they bounce all your e-mail for a month, you will beg them to take your money when the CSRs hang up on you, and you will scream in joy when the technicians track mud across your carpet, then lie to you about your services. We don't know if it's malice or stupidity, but we love them for whatever it is that makes that download so darn quick.
The 8-ball says it best: All signs point to YES, AT&T is evil.